WEP Oct 2017 “Dark places” challenge


I awoke surrounded by darkness. The sound of slowly dripping water echoed around the darkness. With a great struggle, I failed to move anything but, my aching head on a cold, wet stone. Trying to recall how I got here, only to find a sea of drinks before the darkness appeared in my memories.

The sound of deep, drumbeats began to echo from somewhere off in the distance. Turning my head, I tried to locate the source. Beginning to see a ghastly green light entering from the left side of the area. Suddenly, the chamber began to illuminate from around me. Forcing shades of orange, blue, and green to reveal a large ancient looking cavern. It appeared as if something was carved onto the walls, but the details were difficult for me to see. Keeping my gaze locked on the approaching light, I began to see its source. A swarm of strange, humanoid figures carrying tall staff like torches walked towards me. Patchwork, tan hooded robes covered them from head to toe.

They all stopped a few footsteps from me. Beginning to move around until they formed a circle. In a language, I couldn’t understand they started to whisper in a strange dialect. Starting to slowly rotate the circle, as the whisper got louder. Rotating faster the louder they got, quickly becoming a blur. I shouted at them to no avail.

After a few minutes the chamber once again fell dark for. Moments later a ghastly, transparent giant eldritch figure stood at my feet. Noticing small concentrated orbs of white light where the joints would be a human, giving it the appearance of a living constellation. Its features giving it a hideous visage, and a twisted demonic multi-toothed grin. Soulless, black eyes looked down at me. Watching me struggle against my bindings in a fear-drenched sweat.

Strange worm-like appendages began to erupt from the things body. The tips of each one consumed by rows of teeth.Screaming in agony as the tentacles latched onto my entire body. Somehow flooding me with images of a dark, strange ancient looking world. Slender humanoid looking creatures seemed to populate the world’s cities. Their faces an ugly blend of a worm, squid, and fish features. Narrow interconnected tentacles made up their feet and arms. Living in monolithic cities of stone, and wood under cloudless dark grey skies. Effigies of alien-like beings watched over the edges of each city. Standing on tall walls of pale stone. Peering inside and outside the city with connected faces.

The images faded into black, as a sense of empty bliss began to fill my body. A hypnotizing rhythmic tone blowing through my mind, repeating itself every few seconds. Lulling me into a state somewhere between sleep and consciousness. Flashing vivid images of humanity’s ancestors arriving at the stone city. Taking over the city by the spear point, slaughtering the city’s original inhabitants. Bathing the city in a river of green blood, as screams of agony and battle echoed in my head. I looked up at the strange eldritch being, in disgust at the barbaric nature of my ancestors. Beginning to wonder if I was here as an act of penance on behalf of humanity. It seemed oblivious to my gaze, force-feeding more images into my head.

Beginning to feel disoriented and weak as three of the robbed beings approached me.Standing on either side of the stone platform, twisted curving blood-stained daggers in tentacle-like hands. One standing above my head, only their outreached hands visible. Their gazes locked onto the eldritch being. Almost as if they were waiting for something to happen.

I watched helplessly as three more worm things shot from the things body. These ones were incredibly narrow compared to the others. Even possessing the strange light that was in the things body, that ended in a sharp needle-like protrusion. Managing to penetrate the heads of this thing’s summoners.Forcing a brief full-body spasm, before they started emitting a low-pitched cry. The cavern filling once again with the strange chant.

Mere moments later in unison movements, the daggers were plunged into my body. I screamed out in a mixture of surprise and pain. Feeling the bliss shoot out of my body, as blood began to crawl out of my wounds. Screaming again as the daggers plunging was repeated. Creating new wounds, and more pain.

Beginning to see a strange almost blinding white light appear on the cave’s ceiling. For reasons beyond my understanding, it was drawing me towards it. Emptying my body of all feeling, as it extracted my essence.Holding it within itself as I looked down at my dead body. Seeing that I wasn’t the first victim of this strange cult, nor did I believe I would be the last. Finally giving myself fully to the light, as the last flicker of my existence gave way.

Critique level: Full

Word Count: 807

21 thoughts on “WEP Oct 2017 “Dark places” challenge

  1. A truly horrific way to die. I would love to know more about both the aliens and the victim, but well described and truly terrifying! Flash fiction doesn’t always give us the answers, Your story titillates the imagination beautifully.
    Thanks for participating, Christopher. We’re so glad you’re part of the WEP family.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Christopher. I’m sorry for being so late with my comments but I’m still recovering from an overseas trip and am struggling on little sleep. However, I’ve been reading entries and waited until I was fully conscious to comment, LOL!
    A very disturbing story of torture for sins past, rather than one’s own sins. You paint some vivid pictures with your words. I liked the ending culminating in: ‘the last flicker of my existence gave way.’

    Thanks for being part of WEP, Christopher. We look forward to your entries.

    Denise 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My apologies for being late.

    This reminded me of the verse about the sins of the fathers being visited on the children a little unfair but that’s how life is. Great descriptions, loved the details, super world-building going on. A unique take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Why must man always resort to sacrifice? Do the sacrifices help the cult? Unlikely. Bloodletting is for the past when man’s ignorance guided his beliefs. You’ve written a gripping piece, a story that none of us would like to endure. Creepy, but interesting reading.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There are so many layers to this story, and has all the story elements to be a full novel if you wish to develop it further. I found the storyline very interesting, and would like to know more about these original dwellers of the planet, and where did our ancestors come from before they invaded.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi,
    Sorry for just getting to your story, but your link wasn’t posted when I last looked on the 18th and then I forgot about it.
    When I started reading your story, I thought the person was experiencing some kind of death and that he or she was in hell.
    You did an excellent job with the description. It was nice to see hope at the end of the tunnel with the light.
    Shalom aleichem,

    Liked by 1 person

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